Okay, it has now been exactly two weeks and I am 8 lbs down. YIPPEEEE!!!! Great news is that I am still very positive about reaching my goal of losing 80 lbs. Normally I usually get a feeling in my gut that I do not think I can reach that goal. This time it seems different. I know I can! I am also really looking forward to starting Cross fit once I reach my 50 lb. mark. Yep, that is my reward to myself. I think my rewards this time should still benefit my attempt to continue to lose weight, because it isn't about what I will get, it is what I will be giving to my daughter and myself, and that is a healthier body! Now, I do understand that my weight loss is going to slow down. So I just hope to keep with losing 1 lb a week. I think that is reasonable! Once I get about 30 lbs off, I will list my weight numbers, and post my before picture with a current picture to follow. Until then seeing it on paper now might be depressing to me, so I will protect that! -Cary

DAY 1: Well, I am ready to roll! David went to the store and got me the foods I need for my 3 day ketosis (sp) and I have had 50 oz of water so far this morning. I think I will be fine because I am so sick of eating bad. Sugar is just like a drug. Once you have a lot of it, you want a whole lot more of it. I had egg whites and turkey bites for breakfast. I am going to eat every 2 hours. I received a sweet text from David cheering me on! What is my biggest issue with this... STAYING ON IT, STICKING TO IT, SEEING IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END! This is my new plan, my main goal is to finish this. Get to where weight is manageable. Be able to have bad days and wake up the next day knowing I should lose a lb. or two instead of 80 lbs. which feels unreachable. today is the day, but my main focus is the end! Honestly, Eating right isn't hard. It's a choice. Eating really bad stuff all of the time is emotional and a dislike of yourself. Looking forward to looking back at this in 8 months hopefully with a big proud smile!

Okay, So I now have 6 days before I start my new start to being healthy and losing weight. I thought I would list some positives to losing weight. Some I wrote, most I found on line that make since... POSITIVES: • I will get to eat healthy food which I also love • I will get to learn how to make healthy food that tastes good • I will get healthy • I will be able to get off of my heart medication • I will be able to go to a water park with Emmy • I will have more energy to do more things with • I will get to wear clothes that I enjoy wearing and look good in them • I will be less tired. • I won’t be as hot all of the time • I will improve my flexibility • My joints will be better • My urinary problems will hopefully improve • I will be happy again • I will be more fun to be around • I will love myself again • I will have more confidence • My cancer risk may drop • I will be more sharp • My heart will be safer • Working out will become fun • Breathe better • Sleep better • You will save money • Improve quality of life • Improve endurance and stamina • Self Esteem ON-LINE I FOUND: • If you lose weight, you will feel the power of accomplishment. • If you lose weight, you can get regular shoes instead flip flops or slip on shoes. • If you lose weight, you won't have to worry about wearing revealing clothes such as shorts or a bathing suit. • If you lose weight, you will stop wearing out the thighs of your pants. • If you lose weight, you can bury that self-consciousness about people watching you eat, wondering how much you weigh, and all those other mental games that the conscious is capable of. • If you lose weight, the clothes you wear will look better on you and will appear tailored instead of baggy and sloppy. • If you lose weight, you can toss those industrial-sized granny panties and get some that are cute and sexy. • If you lose weight, not only will you ease your mind about your health, you will ease the minds of friends and family who also worry about you. • If you lose weight, you can quit worrying about coming up with new excuses for being overweight. • If you lose weight, getting dressed in the morning will be enjoyable instead of the trigger for depression. • If you lose weight, you can shave all of your legs instead of just what you can reach. • If you lose weight, you will feel sexier and when you feel sexier, you will become sexier. • If you lose weight, you will feel more comfortable when driving or riding in a car. • If you lose weight, you will be able to use a regular towel instead of the beach towels. • If you lose weight, you will feel good about yourself. • If you lose weight, you will feel better physically. • If you lose weight, your breasts will undoubtedly stick out farther than your stomach. • If you lose weight, you will be able to buy stylish clothes that you like, not just because they fit. • If you lose weight, you won't mind telling people how much you weigh. • If you lose weight, your heart won't have to work as hard. • If you lose weight, you can cross your legs again. • If you lose weight, you will be happier. • If you lose weight, you won't dread having your picture taken. • If you lose weight, you will be healthier and less likely to acquire illnesses associated with weight gain such as diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and poor circulation. • If you lose weight, you won't mind eating around others. • If you lose weight, you will be better able to detect tumors or abnormal growths. • If you lose weight, you won't perspire as much, and will feel and smell cleaner. • If you lose weight, you will be less winded when walking stairs or long distances. • If you lose weight, your laundry time will be reduced because of the smaller clothing. • If you lose weight, you will become an inspiration and motivator to others who are trying to lose weight. • If you lose weight, you will live longer. • If you lose weight, you can ride a horse instead of torturing it. • If you lose weight, you won't have a fear of scales any more. • If you lose weight, you will look better, and when you look better, you automatically feel better. • If you lose weight, you won't mind looking in the mirror. • If you lose weight, you will want to go to that next class reunion. • If you lose weight, your back and feet will thank you. • If you lose weight, you will become less critical and negative about yourself. • If you lose weight, you will want to take the stairs instead of the elevator (and you'll be able to!). • If you lose weight, your doctor's visits and medical expenses will likely be reduced. • If you lose weight, you will be able to order clothes from your favorite catalog again. • If you lose weight, you will feel like doing more activities. • If you lose weight, you can enjoy dancing again without feeling ashamed. • If you lose weight, close friends and family will stop nagging you about dieting and losing weight. • If you lose weight, you will be more likely to exercise which will make you more physically fit. • If you lose weight, summer can be your favorite season of the year again. • If you lose weight, you will get to wear smaller sized clothing. • If you lose weight, your doctor will stop badgering you about weight loss plans, healthy eating, blah, blah, blah. (Like you really want to look the way you do.) • If you lose weight, shopping will be more enjoyable because you will be looking for smaller sized clothes in the latest styles. • If you lose weight, you won't feel hatred toward mirrors anymore. • If you lose weight, you will unleash energy that's been stored up inside you. • If you lose weight, you can offer support and encouragement to others who are trying to lose weight. • If you lose weight, your socks will stay up over your calves. • If you lose weight, you can go to the movies again and not have to worry about fitting in the seats.

Interesting title... As of April 16, 2014 I will begin another weight loss journey. This journey is being blogged about as I never seem to follow through with taking care of myself, finding the love that I should have for myself and trying to be a better role model for my daughter. I also got very sick of hearing myself say, " When I lose weight I will be able to"... There are many fill ins on the end of that. Too many to count actually. But I am hoping that blogging about this and documenting the experience may indeed be what I need to see myself through to the end on this, after all, what do I have to lose but weight...right?? AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN... Like... MY LIFE! There is a little kid inside of me that wants to do everything my daughter does. I want to experience fun things with her now, before she becomes uninterested in Mommy. Cool Mommy will not be cool very much longer, and if I do not lose weight, Mommy might be embarrassing. So moving forward and doing whatever it takes to see this through and hopefully finding myself again along the way. My motivation will come from posting successful pictures... along with things that I can't wait to do with my daughter <3 Most importantly, "I love you" to myself. I love myself, Cary